she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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