is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
