Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
