bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize