Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
