I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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