I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
