i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
