How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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