Its about making memories worth repressing
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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