if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
