I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
