the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
