This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
