fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
