The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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