Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
