arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
