At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i think my cat just said my name.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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