Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
