Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
