idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
