I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
