He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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