Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
