Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
