So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
