Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
