yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
