Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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