And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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