Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
