For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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