Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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