a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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