I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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