so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
