So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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