Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hippo gnu deer
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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