I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You were trust falling into bushes
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
