And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
