"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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