i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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