So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
