I just saw a hot homeless man
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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