In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize