You were right. It hurts to walk today.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
