remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
