butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I won the penis lottery.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
