he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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