If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
