watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I want to fling myself into the sun
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize