Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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