my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
