i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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