dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
