24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
3pm strippers are depressing
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
