I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
